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Attack of the Limericist.

You want poetry?!? I'll give you poetry, you hacks*!!!
Whenever you pet a cat,
Please make sure you're not a rat,
Please do be advised,
That it is unwise,
For a rat to pet a cat.

There once was a man from Peru,
Who didn't have a thing to do,
He picked up a phone,
Which had no dial-tone,
And made a call to Kathmandu.

There once was a man with a daughter,
Who wanted to marry an author,
Her father refused,
Because of the news,
That the man knew only one letter.

There once was a girl with a Volkswagen,
Who wanted to drive to Copenhagen,
But once she got there
She found it quite blehh,
And drove home again with her Volkswagen.

There once was a girl called Daisy,
Who hated the sky when hazy,
She vacuumed the air,
With her mighty derriere,
That wonderful girl called Daisy.

There was a young man in Peking,
Who declared himself to be king,
He made himself a crown,
Which kept falling down,
That silly young man from Peking.
Mwahahaha!!!

*I kid, I kid... you're all nice people really.

UPDATE:
Sharon sent me this in response:
there was a young writer called ted
let rejection letters go to his head.
at the paris review
and new york times too
by someone at least he was read!
LOL!

Comments

  1. Oh god that was terrible.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fuyo caya sama lu Teddy
    Tak sangka you karang poetry
    Bukan alang-alang
    Bukan sembarangan
    Ni yang jenis nak pecah belly

    ReplyDelete
  3. now isn't that terrible-er? :p

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes. I concede defeat... just please don't do that again.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You gotta be kidding! What are these? Free verse limericks?! They are the worst limericks I've ever seen - with no humor, no nuance, no sense - and - they don't even rhyme! Oh wait. I guess Daisy DOES rhyme with Daisy, and I gotta admit, Volswagen DOES rhyme with Volkswagen. Duh!

    There once was a limerick site
    The worst ever seen day or night
    Its limited rhyme
    Occurs part of the time
    It's a crime to write something so trite

    ReplyDelete

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